How to Help Children Deali with Stressful Events

One thing that child psychology has taught us since its inception is that, while it may seem at times that children are just small versions of adults, nothing could be further from the truth. Children aren't equipped the way adults are to deal with stressful situations. Parents who tell their children "don't be scared" or "be tough" aren't giving the child reasonable expectations. 

Children lack the developmental capability to cope with stress the way adults do. Physical reactions to stressful sitations sometimes manifest through the entire body. Children are much more likely to sweat the small stuff, meaning that, through subtle logical leaps, a lost toy turns can turn into the end of the world. 

These reactions can be difficult to understand for both parents and psychologists alike. Before we can help children cope with stress, we need to understand how they naturally react to stress. This allows us to identify coping behaviors that may or may not be healthy and then help the child to improve and develop his or her coping skills.

A recent study at Yale University shows a clear link between childhood stress and the propensity for addictions later in life. "Using well-established animal models, we've found strong evidence that early life stress enhances vulnerability to drug addiction," says Therese A. Kosten. Kosten is an assistant professor of psychiatry at the Yale School of Medicine.

One possible explanation for this tendency is that, as children are forced to cope with highly stressful events, they may try to cope with the stress that manifests in anti-social behaviors. For example, a child may try to cover his or her feelings of vulnerability by being aggressive or defiant. These tendencies can lead to a whole host of behavioral and social problems through adolescence. 

Listen
If children are willing to talk about how they are feeling, it's important to listen carefully. Listen to what they're saying, but also listen to what they're not saying. Ask questions patiently, allowing for silence if they don't respond right away. 

Put The Power In Their Hands
The objective is to help children grow in a healthy way as a response to stressful events. While parents would certainly love to fix everything for the child and remove all stressors, this isn't healthy or realistic. 

If children are struggling, talk with them about the things they can do to overcome their problems. Psychologists can help children learn valuable life and coping skills to ease the stressful transition into adulthood.

This post is brought to you by Argosy University. Drawing upon our more than 30-year history of granting degrees in professional psychology, Argosy University has developed a curriculum that focuses on interpersonal skills and practical experience alongside academic learning. Because getting a degree is one thing. Succeeding, quite another.