Steps to Build Self Confidence

Realize that you have something to offer that no one else can-your own unique perspective. Even if this is true, no one else can provide the singular gifts that come from your own unique combination of experience, talents, and ideas.

Our individuality is the ultimate gift; take pride in the fact that no one else on earth has the ability to present your perspective to the rest of the world.

The gap between expectations and reality can deflate your self-confidence. It's important to reach for the stars; there's nothing more empowering than achieving a lofty ambition. However, brutally honest self-analysis is sure to yield at least as many positives as negatives. 

According to Jeremy Sherman, Ph.D, "Self-confidence is largely a habit of reciprocation between you and the people who expect things of you." His article "Self-confidence: Less self-generated than you notice until you're unemployed" in the November 7, 2009 issue of "Psychology Today" explains that meeting others' expectations not only fulfills various needs in their lives; it enhances our own self-confidence.

When you set up a social network which requires you to provide some needed service to others, you create instant expectations of yourself in others' eyes. Once you begin to fill some void in their lives, you boost your own self-confidence.

Whether through volunteering at a soup kitchen or animal shelter, starting a job in which you help others, or assisting a family member with a routine chore, having someone depend on you can truly boost your confidence.

While having others depend on you is an excellent confidence builder, it is important to limit the impact of others' opinions on your self-esteem. Take pride in your strengths, and accept your flaws. Becoming comfortable in your own skin lessens the negative impact of others' criticism. If you lack a keen self-awareness, you are more vulnerable to destructive outside influences. A strong self-image provides a barrier through which unproductive exterior messages must pass.

If you have already constructed a solid "wall" composed of self-knowledge and positive thoughts, it will be much more difficult for counter-productive outside influences to have any effect. Of course, criticism can provide valuable insight, but having a solid self-image will help you filter out that which is harmful to your self-confidence.

This post is brought to you by Argosy University. Drawing upon our more than 30-year history of granting degrees in professional psychology, Argosy University has developed a curriculum that focuses on interpersonal skills and practical experience alongside academic learning. Because getting a degree is one thing. Succeeding, quite another.