How is Collaborative Divorce Different?

COLLABORATE: definition - To work cooperatively toward a common goal. (From the Latin collaboratus, meaning to labor together).

The standard process for obtaining a divorce is emotionally painful and financially expensive. Have no doubt about it, a divorce is a lawsuit between you and your spouse. You will have to endure an adversarial process in which you file a lawsuit, gather information in a most unpleasant manner called discovery, open up your personal life to the courts and the public record, bicker over the terms of the property division, argue for reasonable child custody and support provisions, and possibly endure a bitter trial.

There has to be a better way to do this thing called divorce. A way that minimizes the unpleasantness of the inherently unpleasant process of obtaining a divorce. And there is.

Collaborative divorce is an entirely different method of ending an unworkable marriage.

Here’s how it is different:

• Both spouses (and their attorneys) sign a contract to do their very best to resolve their issues by MUTUAL AGREEMENT.
• Both spouses and their attorneys agree to act and speak to each other with respect, considering the circumstances.
• The spouses (and their attorneys) hold a series of meetings in which they discuss what each person wants to see as a fair resolution.
• In these meetings, the spouses work together to create an agreed settlement on the children and the property that is fair for both partners and is in the best interests of the children.
• Everyone gets a chance to speak and be heard.
• The attorneys agree to set aside the normal bulldog tactics that often tend to insult the other spouse and simply inflames matters. Your attorney will represent your interests in a way that leads to a fair resolution.
• Often a “neutral facilitator” such as a trained counselor is present at the meeting to keep things running smoothly, productively, and respectfully.
• Attorneys who practice collaborative law are a different breed of lawyer. They are trained in the special techniques of collaborative law. They actually CARE about getting you through your divorce with your soul and your pocketbook intact.
• Everyone involved in the collaborative divorce agrees by contract that they will handle the divorce without putting the couple through the trauma of a trial. Taking the divorce to trial or threatening to do so ends the collaborative process. The attorneys agree to withdraw from the case under these circumstances and so they have no incentive to wage expensive guerrilla warfare through litigation. The couple who withdraws from the collaborative process will have to hire new lawyers at additional cost. The financial incentive for everyone is to finish the divorce by collaboration, not litigation.
• Collaborative divorce is usually much less expensive than litigation. It is also usually less time consuming.
• Collaborative divorce, because it is based on respect and agreement, helps the parties to maintain a civil working relationship after the divorce, particularly when there are children involved. This allows both parents to be better co-parents to their children and protects the children from the lingering effects of harsh feelings between their parents. Traditional divorce often makes both parties so bitter that they may have trouble co-parenting after the divorce.